In a recent theological discourse with my sister-in-law I was left with the impression that she thought I was going to hell.  Well, actually, she said it, as Al Franken would say, “on the square.” For example: “Okay, so we’ll go at this until the day you die, I guess.  I’ll just be in heaven and you’ll be in hell.” Chuckle.  Chuckle.  But not really.  The chuckle is just to make light of the situation.

This made me think, especially when her sister asked why I wasn’t angry at the insinuation that I was going to burn for an eternity for my interpretations of Christianity.  It is safe to say that my square pegs were not making headway into her circular holes.  I didn’t take offense to the “on the square” comment because it really didn’t dawn on me to get mad at her.  But then, I had to ask myself, why?  Why am I not mad at her?  She did make me quite angry at a point some time ago when she inferred the same thing about my father, who had passed away.  That was a personal attack on a man that had only been nice to her in the short time she knew him.  It was selfish and ignorant to say.  So, why was her comment to me not?

Although it was selfish and ignorant, not to mention blasphemous, my life has yet to be led.  My life is still assembling itself spiritually.  I find it interesting to speak with her about her beliefs because they are so anathema to how I see Christianity.  The problem with this is that my beliefs have to seem so alien and incomprehensible to her that the easiest way to address this is just to assume I’m hell-bound.  That’s it.  “I can’t, or won’t, comprehend what you’re saying, so you’re on the low road to brimstone.” Bring on the fire, then, I say.  My only fear does not lie in what may come in the afterlife, but that when my end comes I had not filled my life on Earth with this search for spirituality.

Earlier, I mentioned in passing that telling someone that they’re hellbound is blasphemous.  This is obvious and one of the greatest conundrums of this charismatic conservative Christianity.  Basically the witnessing they perform is a two-fold process:  1) They ask if you believe that Jesus Christ is your lord and savior.  Then 2) you answer “yes,” then they take the path to bring you into their fold; kind of cultish.  Alternatively, you answer “no” and then they try to convince you why Jesus is your lord and savior.  If you deny the existence of God and don’t believe in Jesus or, even better, you make an attempt to discuss how your Christian beliefs do not mirror their myopia, then they open the gates to Baelzebub’s hot nights in hell.  This is basically it.  One or the other step may take a minute or two or may take months, but this is the structure of their witnessing.  The great faux pas is that, for some reason, they can decide that you will go to hell or not!  This, my friends, is B L A S P H E M O U S.  Hm.

Basically, I’m not mad about all of this because it truly isn’t worth it.  I’ll speak with her again and I may have to lay the smack-down on some of you Evangelicals here on my blog (that comment was “on the square”) and that is fine because while we exist here we have no answers.  You don’t have them.  I don’t have them.  The Bible doesn’t have them.  Get used to that idea (unless, of course, you are divine and then I would have to ask why the heck you’re cruising blogs and not stopping the war in Iraq).  We have no idea where our lives will take us as we take our last breaths.  Why waste the time you have by being sour towards others and judging them?  Have fun, learn what you can, find your spirit and go for a walk.  That’s all.

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