After a half a year of continued searching through my spirit and soul I’ve come to another fork in my road.  As I’ve mentioned several times in the past, I have decided, or, rather, have somewhat unwillingly been led, to take a journey of spiritual discovery.  Knowing full well that I may never find a seat so comfortable as to sit in, this self-reflection in which I partake is one without an end.  My daily contemplation on where I stand in humanity and where humanity stands in this world and where this world stands in the universe led to me search out answers about my past and to eek out what I could of the religion I know best: Christianity.  My Catholic upbringing seemed to call me back but my reason and thought kept me from falling into a dogma that still seems ancient and even stale.  My turn to Christianity came in the regal form of the Episcopal Church.  I’d been struck by the amazing amount of thought and liberal leanings displayed by writers from the Episcopal faith and felt that it may provide a home for my spirit while keeping the humanist part of my being alive.  In that, Trinity Cathedral succeeded.  My understanding of myself has been greatly enhanced by my time spent there amongst the most learned, the most enlightened, and the most spiritual clergy that I think I could find here in Portland, and perhaps even in this entire country.  But, as you may have noticed, I have been speaking in the past tense as if I were not a part of that church community any longer.  You would be right in your assumptions, somewhat.

The discovery of my long buried Christianity has, as all questions of theology should, led me to deeper thought.  In this deepening I found that my definition of God, Jesus’ place in philosophy and history, and the myth of the Holy Spirit did not match up with the larger purposes and doctrine of Christianity as a whole.  My mission beyond self-discovery is to stand as a vocal opponent to the fundamentalist Christian movement that gains more of a foothold as each day passes.  The purpose with which I find myself akin to Christianity is to rebel against a religion, my religion, that is being stolen, morphed, and redistributed as an over-the-counter drug solution for salvation.  Understanding this, I do describe myself still as a Christian.  But also, in understanding this, it is plain that I cannot truly worship God all the while muttering creeds and prayers that I cannot abide.  With the revelation of my own Christianity I have discovered that, lo, while I am Christian, I cannot live under the roof of Christianity when its fires do not warm my soul and when its food does not satiate my spirit.

As the fork appeared I decided to take a path that circled back to a more recent past.  Again, I have found that my comfortable chair seems to sit in the Unitarian faith.  My sabbatical, if you will, has enlightened my sense of purpose and I never feel more purposeful and awake than I do while attending 1st Unitarian Church of Portland.  Their politics, their acceptance, their work for social justice, embodies the whole of Christianity as it should be while recognizing that other faiths not only exist, but enhance the concept of God and the philosophies of Jesus.  I left the Unitarian church undecided as to where my path led and in Christianity I found my path back home.  I have a more solid understanding on what I think Christianity truly embodies and it is surely put to use at its most effective at 1st Unitarian.  I return not just a Unitarian, but as a Christian Unitarian and my spirit seems revitalized.  My connections with the Episcopal Church will not fade.  Rather, they will be strengthened as I will continue to attend their speaking events, their Christian Holy Day masses, and their Taize services and continue to seek a deeper understanding of Christian Humanism, an idea that seems to have been lost in the frays of fundamentalism.  For now, the hearth that warms my very person is forged in the Christian theology of Unitarianism.

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