It’s All About Who You Know

Oh, Scooter, how nice must it be to be a traitor and know people in high places. Apparently to celebrate Independence week (y’know, the week that all the “haves” take off to throw fireworks around and lay their fat asses on the beach), President Bush saw fit to commute I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby’s sentence for, first off, being a traitor to the security of the United States, and, secondly, revealing the identity of Valerie Plame, a Central Intelligence Agency officer working under cover. Of course this was all in response to the White House’s ouchy when Mrs. Plame’s husband, ambassador Joe Wilson, criticized the war on Iraq. Such a pissy, pissy White House. Tsk tsk.

Having been sentenced a mere 30 months in jail for an offense that probably deserved more time merely for the traitorous aspects of it, President Bush saw fit to pat the boy on the head, minimize his punishment, and leave the door wide open for a future pardon – probably the week before he runs from the White House in disgrace in January, 2009.

What this again shows is that our country is run in big business style, where no offense is punished and no transgression needs a slap on the hand. It’s all done for the sake of the company, right? The massive conglomerate comes first. Now, if we’d (by “we” I mean a regular American citizen, akin to the regular company worker) acted half as traitorous, we’d find ourselves in the proverbial guillotine.

Interesting.

But then, exactly when hasn’t this White House acted in a self-serving, corporate crony manner? No one should be surprised this happened at all.

Flaming Trucks and Dud Bombs

At the end of last week, a barreling flaming vehicle crashed into the Glasgow airport in Scotland. This followed a series of dud bombing attempts in London, England.

Surely, these are frightening events, but, as Keith Olbermann said during his broadcast on Friday, if these attacks were planned attacks sanctioned by Osama bin Laden himself, then, Jesus, this is great. If they can’t get their shit together enough to complete an attack on this small of a scale, then al Qaeda is most likely inert and ineffective, globally speaking (Iraq is an entirely different story). And, most likely, this is because bin Laden isn’t even alive any more. Has everyone forgot that this man is an individual with some substantial health issues? And he supposedly wanders through the mountains in Pakistan? Obviously, the chances of his survival aren’t great. But then, we need that specter, don’t we? That great unknown fear to keep us on edge and glued to the tube.

Speaking of that great unknown specter – what is most disturbing about these attacks are not the methods in which the attacks were carried out (or failed to be carried out), but the perpetrators of these attacks. Most were professional men and women – doctors, even. In general, you’d expect educated people to not fall into such traps of zealotry, but then religion isn’t really the pasture for reasoned thinking. Nonetheless, something is surely amiss when our paradigms of your average terrorist are shifted into the white collared arena as opposed to the poor, energetic, bored unemployed young man who can be fed information and propaganda and will sacrifice with zealotry their own lives.

Boycott

As I sat in a seemingly endless line of cars exiting the beach area of Oceanside, I was forced to hear some drunk lady standing on the corner, waving her stupid flag, screaming to me: “Are you an American?!?!? Honk if you’re an American!” I didn’t honk. Mainly because she was a jackass, but also because I know what she meant by “American.” It was then that I realized that I am going to boycott July 4th celebrations from now on – not ones in my friend’s or my yard, but the big retarded gatherings.

Like those Christmas nuts who run around during December crying about the lost meaning of Christmas, I, too, feel I must do the same about Independence Day. So much has been lost when it comes to actually contemplating the meaning behind Independence Day. It’s turned into a huge get-drunk holiday with all the trimmings – bad food, stupid people, terrible fireworks. I get the idea that celebrating this day is more of a solemn occasion simply because it was given birth from an idea that was fought for with lives.

No one sits around, discussing the finer points of the Declaration of Independence. No one takes part in a discourse sussing out what has happened in our country and how far we’ve veered from the path set forth by the Founders. Thomas Paine, Samuel Adams, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson don’t come up in our conversations over beer. Washington might, but only in the context of: “Dude! Washington kicked ass! He totally ripped the dudes in red in half! Um – pass me another Bud Light, willya?”

Henceforth, I will not attend stupid fireworks displays with trash – because, as my dear wife succinctly put it – trash likes to blow things up for no good reason. Oh, and this story might have helped, too….

Just Because Your Kids Play Sports Doesn’t Make Them All-Stars

There are tons of vans (or a couple that drive around everywhere) here in the San Diego area that are graffiti-splattered with praises for the kids who ride within. They play baseball, softball, soccer, basketball – whatever. Now, I know there are teams that finish first and there are teams that finish last. And, I also know that it’s all about the game. But, for Christ’s sake, not every child is a goddamned all-star. Every freaking van out there has “All-Stars” written on it. Y’know what? It might be good to acknowledge the fact that they might lose as well. Every van painted up to celebrate some team is all about the “All-Stars”! I know it’s absolutely not possible that this many winners and stars exist because it is mathematically impossible. It’s OK to lose and it is also OK to acknowledge loss. By not passing this on is how we grow and nurture spoiled adults who can’t take the idea of not getting what they want! Everything has to be a goddamned standing ovation!

Losing builds character. Acknowledging the fact that you lose sometimes and then trying to improve upon one’s self builds even more character. It’s not that hard, folks. Get a grip.
It’s with this “All-Star” mentality that America produced George W. Bush.

Read: Mastication and Regurgitation