Fake Tits

San Diego has fake tits.

Seriously.

Yes, the per capita rate of fake tits to real ones is disproportionately askew here, but what I’m describing is the intangible San Diego of everyone’s mind, soul, and business. San Diego itself has fake tits – it’s purporting itself to be something it is not. The question, however, is whether this is the impetus or the result. Whether it bought them or had them from the beginning. Where did the fakies come from?

One of the greatest selling points for my growing dislike (this term is flowery and nice compared to how I really feel about this hole…) for San Diego and Southern California as a whole is how anyone can do just about anything here and get paid for it. You need a dog whisperer? Got one. Need someone to convince you that your child needs a special medical formula to cure his failing grades as opposed to understanding the root problem of your asshole parenting instead? Done! Need someone to bring your Target goods to your house when Target doesn’t provide delivery? Say nothing more – it’s done. You can find just about any unreal service that you want. And if you can’t, you can just do it yourself – snake oil is the easiest consumer product to sell when the grass fields are so thirsty.

I applaud budding entrepreneurs, but when the money itself is fake, there is no business and, therefore, no service to provide – unless there are fake people to buy into it. The cycle is vicious and is exclusive. You can try to buy in, but if you’re not willing to play the game, you’ll be chewed up and spit right out.

Ever see “The Real Housewives of Orange County“? Indeed, it’s a “reality show” which generally means “bullshit” but it’s all real – I see it day in and out. What you see in Orange County can be mirrored exactly here in San Diego. Nothing is as real as it says it is: the faces with all the botox, the food with all of its substandard quality, the housing market with all of its inflated value, the houses built like flimsy matchstick boxes, the families with all their fake money. It’s all a system that is set up to fail and when it does, it’ll affect more than just California. San Diego has set itself up to be the killer of the middle class. There is no possible way for a family to float in between posh and poverty – you can only be one or the other. You see, Southern California holds the dream for untold amounts of eager people – so many people refer to it as paradise that they fail to see the ultimate reality of living somewhere that bases itself on the idyllic silicone implant. California may think its tits look better than everyone else’s, but when it comes down to it they still feel really fucked up.

Take, for instance, the recent crash in the housing industry. Major players in the deception-infested loan industry reside right here in the San Diego area. My guess is that this is not a coincidence. This is how much of San Diego survives and continues to grow like an inferno fed by a never-ending source of fuel- the backs of others, whether the poorer or the unfortunate who bought into the idea that they could afford a house even when they couldn’t pay their current bills. The houses here in the hills are built from the slow trickle of money that bleeds from everyone else’s bank accounts and the loan industry is laughing to the proverbial bank. As of late, there has been a strong backlash and some paybacks vice versa, but big businesses know how to get out of this while normal people either don’t or can’t.

In similar cases, the college loan industry also has major players that flaunt their money in San Diego. I don’t think I have to illustrate the woes students have when they come out of college, some having loan bills double their monthly income because our economy is in the toilet. Do you know how easy it is to get these loans? I got one, although I ended up not using it. My credit is terrible! But the lenders were willing to throw money at me because they love to have the noose at the end of your schooling, waiting patiently to tighten it up after that sixth month when you still don’t have a job that pays for shit. There is a stark divide between the haves and have-nots and it rides on the back of the exploitation rife in Southern California.

America is being sold a bill of goods and it comes in the package of a hot chick with fake tits.