I’ll tell it to the hot, I’ll tell it to the cold. I’ll tell it to the young, I’ll tell it to the old. I don’t want no laughin’, I don’t want no cryin’, and most of all, no signifyin’. – Petey Greene

1. You’re Only As Good As Your Dumbest Ass - Okay, Whole Foods, I get it. You’ve got the market cornered on “health” food and “premium” produce and meats. How ’bout this, though: Behind your hot food counters, y’know, the ones with the semi-good pizzas (I say “semi-good” because mine kicks yours in the pants twice)? Yeah, those. Make sure that the people you have back there have a fucking clue, ok? Don’t staff them with useless know-nothings. I had to tell one of your jackasses that I wanted my slice heated in your faux wood-fired brick oven and you know what he told me? He told me the pizza was already cooked.

2. Cracker Fajitas – Remember when Chi-Chi’s Mexican restaurant was around before they went down the tubes from a Hep-A breakout? You liked that place, yeah? The salsa, the cracker-style burritos and fajitas, the fried ice cream – all good stuff back about a decade and a half ago. Here’s the funny thing: When I unload the truck at night, I get into interesting conversations with one dude I usually unload the 1500 plus boxes with. A few nights ago, he decided to speak only Spanish with me so that I would start using his language more. I was up for the challenge, of course. While blabbering away, I realized that he had just mentioned the word “chi-chi.” I asked him what that meant. He told me it was slang for “tit.” Yeah, people, we all ate at “Tit’s” Mexican restaurant. How funny is that? It was a Mexican-styled HOOTERS!

3. Misery Loves CompanyThat’s why I’m returning to Detroit, my friends. Seriously, though, how miserable is it in Detroit? I’m interested in hearing your views.

4. Talk To Me – Easily one of the best movies I’ve seen in a while. Don Cheadle is amazing as the (unknown to me until a Fresh Air interview with the director, Kasi Lemmons) infamous Petey Greene – an ex-con radio sensation before shock-jocking was the thing. I came away from the movie feeling like I’d learned about someone and something that so many of us have passed right up. I can’t pinpoint what it is, but it’s there in the movie and in the characterization of Petey Greene. See it.

5. She Likes A Big Fine Daddy – And I’m just the one for her! I was recently looking for my Ride The Lightning CD when, of course, I came across another CD I’d been looking for instead: Lavay Smith & Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers‘ 2000 release, Everybody’s Talkin’ ‘Bout Miss Thing. I forgot how much I liked this album. It’s a very decent throwback to the sultry jazz vixens of a day far gone. She’s got a pretty platinum voice and her looks are right on – in other words, she’s HOT. It’s nice to pick up an album you’ve had for almost seven years and that you haven’t listened to in four and have it still be good. Oh, and guess where I discovered Miss Thing? Guess! Come on! Easy answer! YEP! You’re right!