Triumph1. Whitey, Again – There’s been a certain amount of attention paid to a new phenomenon known as “Stuff White People Like.” Typically it’s pretty right on and pretty hilarious. I have an addition to make to these notions, though: What white people say. My inaugural entry into this is: If you frequently say so-and-so is “a loose cannon,” then you’re really white. I’ve never heard anyone of any color at all say this.

2. Double-Necked Awesomeness – Remember Triumph? Come on! Seriously! You must remember them. Well, if you’re 35 or older you should. They were the alternative answer to Rush‘s popularity, spreading the gospel of Canadian rock all through the late 70′s and through the mid-80′s. Anyway, driving home from dropping Delphina off at school this morning, “Magic Power” graced its presence on my Sirius receiver. I loved this song when I was 11 years old. It was so uplifting. And, dare I say, it still is. What else lends Triumph cred? The bassist has a fat mustache (a la Derek Smalls) as all bassists should. Oh, and, by the way, you can file the video I linked from the song as “Funny Shit White People Did In The 80′s.”

3. Before I Die – As some of my closest friends know, I’ve been thinking of writing a memoir for years now. Yes, I think my life as a child was that interesting and I have people who can back that up. Yet, after some false starts, I have not been able to muster the creative energies to do so. I think it’s because I’m afraid of what will come out on paper. Maybe I’ll realize things that I didn’t before. Perhaps I am not as hard-shelled as I like to think I am. Ariel Gore has put all this into focus with her book, How To Become A Famous Writer Before You’re Dead. Ariel paved new ground for writers with her very DIY ethic and this book expounds on that. My wife, Kim, has been a stalwart follower of her zine, Hip Mama, for about a decade now and it was through Kim that I learned a lot about Ariel. Now, I’m a big fan as well. I’m hoping the jolt fries me into action.

4. Fringe Group81% of Americans think we’re in the shit. I don’t think we’re a minority fringe group, President Bush.

5. Big Brothering School – Anyone who knows anything about California knows that it’s a nanny state. Everything is legislated here from how big your kid has to be before losing the booster seat to when you can text-message someone. Where are the libertarians here? Oh, that’s right, they’re in Oregon or they’re worried about the border-crossers. I forgot. But, I digress. It is allergy season and this means sneezing, coughing, and headaches. Delphina, my 13 year-old, had a headache so bad that she needed to leave school a few days ago. When attempts to reach Kim failed, Delphina resorted to text-messaging her. The school threatened Delphina with disciplinary action and said they would comb through her messages to “decide the appropriateness” of them if she did it again. Here are a few words for you, San Dieguito Union High School District: Keep your fucking hands off my privacy or I’ll take you to court. Believe me, I have nothing else better to do other than write a memoir.